Ready Again.

    • My anxious attitude is starting to shine and radiate out of me like any other glorious feeling of should've already happened. Did ya get that? Sooooo, lived in a house then I had a 31' motorhome, sold it, and bought a van. It is almost ready to be on a long trip road, but am I?! Again I am getting the feeling of wanderlust. Ready to be on the open road. Ready to be outta here and onto new. Orrrr am I ready once again to change my mind and path again? Maybe so and once again I am okay with whatever just as long as I'm happy. I may just keep my van and use it later on down the road after coming back from a sailing trip I also have always yearned for since I saw my first boat. Is it finally the universe giving me what I want and what I asked for? I have to believe fully that is the case and let my destiny and wanting to enjoy the rest of my life take over with only the want to be happy. 
    •        I have said over and over again how much I love being outdoors in the bright sun or even overcast with light rain or in the cold with snow slowly falling, whatever the weather as long as I can feel the outdoors I have happiness inside me that longs to stay outside all the time. We are brought up believing that we must have a large shelter with more stuff and more rooms to put more stuff in, I have never wanted to be in a larger and better house than I was ever in already, with the exception of having issues in a home and wanting to upgrade in that manner. There has always been a part of me that wanted to sleep on the beach every night or to camp out all summer long or to stay in a cabin high in the mountains all winter long, because you can't always do winter without shelter in parts of the world. There has always been something or someone my whole life holding me back from spending my whole life outside. I take that last line back because I really can't blame anyone but myself and my thoughts for holding me back. In reality, I am in control of my doings and not doing, but I guess it's easier to just blame destiny and someone else. I am working on not being that person. Thank you.
    •     Yes, I am ready again for a change, for a change of scenery and a change of mind but it is me, myself, and I holding me back. (great movie btw, "Me, Myself and Irene") I want so bad to leave with a backpack containing my bare essentials and nothing but the wanting to explore and enjoy life. I hold onto certain things though with a reason that is not there and an explanation that is nothing more than habit and I am not sure I am ok with that anymore.
    •          I am ready again to change my path and my life. Hold on life, where are we going to go? I have thoroughly enjoyed my longer than expected time here in Titusville and met so many awesome people here that it makes it hard to leave all the sweet faces I have come to know and love in my almost 2 years here now. It was past the due date a year ago. I have also been grateful to spend time with my mama. One year should've done it here, but hey, shit happens and if I would've taken off then I wouldn't have met a couple of other awesome people that I recently met and I also believe that is the reason why I have stayed here so long because I was supposed to. It happened for a great reason because I wanted it to. I met many remarkable people recently that made me realize at first sight that I am capable and ready to pursue my next adventure or should I say goal? First, go check out this website of one of the people that have been an unknowing inspiration...

    •  Thank you, Captain Gary, for having me aboard your beautiful vessel, the Sapphire Catamaran. We have a mutual friend who owns an equally awesome home, a sailboat, Kyle Helm, who invited us over and we ended up on the totally redone from fire and ruin catamaran with the host being very generous and kind. I met a couple of others that were onboard and of which I thought were the owners until I learned otherwise. Hahaha! I was talking to 2 couples who were also guest onboard Gary's boat and I enjoyed their company thoroughly, but the host was at the grill, grilling chicken and something else as I learned after inquiring about the owner of this dreamboat of mine! I had to find him/her and say how impressed I was with this creation of beauty I was aboard. So I finally after about 20 minutes was finally introduced to the capt, which I am just now apologizing for hanging out on board for so long then finally said hello, I think that was rude of me, but I was intrigued by your other guest on board. Anyhow, you were nothing but smiles and a perfect host for the short time I was there, so I forgot about it being considered rude and went with the flow. I was very tempted to eat some of the spread that was laid out consisting of chicken, quinoa salad, and something else but I had just eaten but was in ecstasy over the smell of the food, which is not uncommon with me and food. I was into the conversations with a shy approach because my mind was elsewhere as it usually is, but I tried my best not to let my mind wander and stay with the conversation at hand and I kept thinking I was in another world. Or was I just manifesting myself into the life that I have always wanted? Was I directing my future by wanting something so badly that I made it happen? Maybe it is that I know what I want, so I went after it. I had forced my want into a reality and I know that there is nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, which is rarely the case. My original point of the last part of this story is that I met someone who inspired me in a way that I am positive that he didn't even realize he did it. I want to thank you, Gary, for having me aboard the home that you cherish and for not even trying, but giving off the vibe of good times and having a smile that made me realize that my dream is very similar to yours and that I have had that same dream to be doing what you are doing right now. I was a teenager thinking about life aboard a vessel that reeks of hard work and love that it makes it feel more like me than any other person or thing has. Ever. You share your joy and home without asking anything in return and that is a great and honorable trait to have. I am not sure of your reasoning for being on Couchsurfing, but I know that it is not the lack of anything, but the joy of sharing!  You also said that you will teach others to sail and how to tie knots and whatever and that is the secret. Sharing your knowledge and experience and that is a great quality to have. The others will always be there to help and show love in return with not a wanting of anything in return and that is what life is about. Enjoying it without expecting a damn thing in return. I have always tried to do my best and share and enjoy my life and while aboard your home, I realized with greater respect about how it makes life easier to give and enjoy than it is to overthink and downgrade everything. Thank you. I now want to live on the open water and meet new people every day and also enjoy every day and be happy with the choices I have made and the happiness that I have yearned for.
    •      There are also my friends Christen and Eddie who have already taken off on their adventures and started to do the life. I met them where I work at and they decided to take off to Oregan to do workamping at a KOA there. I am grateful to have known them and am so happy for them. I should've left months before them, but then like I said ..shit happens. I'm so happy for yall and I can't wait to visit you somewhere out there! 
    •     Ya'll don't know how many FB marketplace ads and craigslist ads that I have looked at over the years to try and find the right tiny house, boat, or next RV for me. I don't think that the universe has plans for me but I need to make the plans for me. My wanting of being on the water on a boat will lead me in the path and direction that I need to be in. Wherever my path takes me, I will follow. I know that I require happiness and I want to help others get that same happiness in life. So to the world I am ready!!! For what world? I do not know but do know that the want is there and I will pursue and fulfill that want with all of my might and will. Amen, Hallelujah! Peace!


Popular posts from this blog

Titusville, Florida

Ozones, Rockets and Humans