It's the Water

Originally posted on 11/2019

    Why do I always feel upset at myself when I change things on the path of my life or if they are altered for me but I always put on a smile and roll with whatever happens. I wouldn't be human if I didn't feel a little bit of hurting on over things changing, but I am working on that small flaw of mine. I am sure that there are some people out there that may say that flaws are horrible and must be corrected immediately but I think they are real and should be embraced and be a learning tool. For real. As I was laying on the beach today I was taken back when I rolled over onto my side and had a realization that I love this world and nature when I turned and saw a rainbow wave with a dolphin jumping over it. It not like I didn't already love nature, but that was a beautiful sight that reminded me of a Trapper Keeper I once owned, and I believe I remember seeing one with a unicorn jumping over a rainbow wave. Oh, the 80s pastels splattered all over everything. Uggghhh. Wasn't my style. Anyways, the wave was gorgeous and then I turned over onto my other side and saw a hint of the moon still showing it's face to me. I get a great overwhelming feeling every time I am near the waters of the ocean with the waves breaking in a chaotic yet harmonious way. The smell of the salt air and the sandflies biting my now browner skin and I think to myself, it is all okay! Any beach, river, or body of water is soothing to my aching soul. I am wanting to explore and see the world, but I am dragged on to hope instead of memories. I need to go experience the nature of this world and to see the spectacular places my heart yearns for so badly. I want to be able to feel the wind blowing through my hair on top of mountains and I want to hike up those mountains and see waterfalls fill my view with awwhh! I say they are hopes now because not being able to leave has dampened my soul and I have let it. I am sad because I am not back yet. I wanted to leave right after we purchased the beautiful B-190 but I was convinced otherwise and now it is one year and a month after arrival to Florida. Quit complaining Janille. Back to the beach, I go to feel good all over. I have been camping many times and am always near water and it is even better when it is a stream or river with moving water that is just a lovely soothing sound also like the powerful waves crashing at the beach. Any body of water has a healing power that everyone should embrace. Feel the sounds run through yourself and hear the power of nature.
  I know that most have heard the saying "it's in the water" and that's why things have happened. For example, if multiple women get pregnant some will say that they became that way because it was in the water. Multiple things happen around the same time for a reason and it doesn't explain a damn thing, but it does give delayed reasoning easily understandable even though things are much more complicated but more pliable and acceptable. But usually, the more believable story is the saner one or as most would say...the "normal one". But like I say all the time, what the fuck is normal? And back to the original post title about water... it's my love, my yearning, and my life. I don't think I could be away from some form of water without having heartache to be near it again as soon as possible. #goearthbaby


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